A divorce is going to move the earth where you stand, but as well is going to create a world where if you water its soil it will create a new life for you.
I have friends who have been through the process of a divorce. It is one of the most painful and stressful situations that any man can endure, even more so if there are kids involved.
The challenges are: financial, emotional and existential.
The financial aspect is a big one to deal with: Lawyers, splitting of your wealth, maintenance of kids, therapists, and a new home, etc.
Emotionally it is tough, perhaps more so than financially: Dealing with any sort of loss is a long drawn out process that will drain your energy and one of the wiser moves you can make is to get help that allows you to understand the reasons behind what happened, the benefits that a civilized separation can bring and the promise there is of a better future that you will need to build by yourself.
Then there is the existential one: The usual age for men to get divorced is around their 40’s, an age where many are at the peak of their careers meanwhile walking on the minefield of what’s described as “maturity” (you are not old but you are not in your 20’s any more with all the implications that has).
It is at this point where questions like these ones will arise: who am I? What do I want? Is there life after marriage? Is being single again a bad thing, a great thing? How should I embrace my new status? etc.
Now you will ask how Interior Design can help you to get back on your feet and enjoy life, as it should be.
One of the concepts you are going to struggle with is the understanding that you have not lost “your home” but “a home” and that it is up to you to build your “new home”. Now in order to do this you need to internalize the fact that home is more than the place where you sleep, it is the place that you choose as the center of your life, where you are going to energize, create, dream, rest and entertain friends and why not? Bring that special one to enjoy the beauty of sharing a space that defines who you are.
Being happy with your own company and enjoying it should be part of what your new home gives you…
And it is in this area where interiors will help you: to give shape to that place and to imprint on it your personality, your likes, your ambitions and the way you are going to enjoy this new phase of your life, the new you.
The achievement of great interiors is in their ability to help you to keep you in love with life, with your life. Each time you cross the entrance door of your new home, all the spaces in it need to tell a story about you, and all of us love a great story. You are building your new life so there are a lot of things to say to yourself (affirmations, visions) to your friends, to your kids when they visit you and beyond this to the universe in general. You are in control of your life and you love it, making it tangible.
Life is one, dear gentleman, with its ups and downs but it is up to you to decide how to live it regardless of difficult times. Make it fantastic.
A place where receiving your friends and enjoying your new life is a must..
Diego Correa, Interior Designer